August 2005
Breaking News -- POTC, The Disney Code, Discount Mondays, Autopia Updates, Silver Ride Vehicles, Fort Wilderness Theater, Club 16-1/2, Chip and Dale Mishap, InsidEar Mailbag

You 'Eard it here first!

Dear Readers,

Welcome to the InsidEar August report, here you will find the most up to date trivia and rumors about the Magic Kingdom. You can trust us to give you the facts hot off of the griddle, some so fresh they haven't even been verified yet! We promise not to dampen your experience here with a bunch of Free or Discounted buzzwords such as claiming that a visit our site would be like having an All Expense Paid Vacation for Life. In fact we do not even offer Discount Coupons to our target market of College Students ages 18-24 to pump up our readership so that Google (Boy, we really LOVE Google) will improve our rankings. No, when you visit the InsidEar you will not have to Travel far on the Internet Superhighway to get the straight Deal on Disneyland information. The best part of this site is that you will not even need a Hotel or Rental Car. When you visit us you can leave your wallet at home because we do not even sell Disney Souvenirs or Disney DVD's or Disney T Shirts. So enjoy this site and while you are here click on all of the links to see if there is a Cash Prize or if you could be a Lucky Winner! The InsidEar prides himself on his Journalistic integrity not on cheap shots to improve ad revenue as you will note throughout this site.

Breaking News -- POTC

Have you seen the new track being put in place at the Pirates of the Caribbean? Just keep looking up -- some parts of the overhead track have not been painted black yet and are still easy to see. While all of the other Disney fan sites (both of them) are clamoring for information of “Pirates after Dark” our sources have uncovered a completely different plan that is in the works for this beloved attraction... “Pirates in the Morning”. Everyday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., this much-loved adventure will turn into the ultimate fantasy ride for children of all ages. Instead of riding in the borish “it's a small world”-type of boats (what were they thinking?), guest will be placed in modified Peter Pan flying pirate ships! Imagine how fun it will be to swoop down on Capitan Hook's ship while it's in the middle of a battle with London's “Big Ben” tower! Then it's on to rescue the lost children at Neverland Ranch while watching out for alligators along the way! This new adventure is almost in the completion stage and will feature “soft” openings sometime in September.

Speaking of the Pirates...

In an effort to bring awareness to environmental issues surrounding sea life, the Blue Bayou is now proud to offer Dolphin Soup. Each bowl of soup will come with a handout that tells how you can help marine life around the world. Rest assured that these dolphins were not hunted down and killed with barbaric methods. Most of them were raised on Dolphin farms and a few were unfortunately caught while being tangled up in fishermen's nets. Sure it's a bad thing, but it happens occasionally and they might as well make the best of it besides, it tastes just like chicken!

For those who are concerned about such things, Disney guarantees that all of its dolphin will be tuna safe.

The Disney Code

Amidst the hoopla and fanfare of July 17, I was privileged to be one of half a dozen witnesses to one event which managed to go unnoticed to the media. A member of the maintenance crew noticed a loose stone in front of Sleeping Beauty's castle. He carefully pried it up and was about to reset it when he found that buried beneath it was a small wooden box. On the lid of the box was carved the initials "W.E.D." and the date "July 16, 1954." Apparently the worker thought nothing much of it, and the box was simply set aside as the stone was set back into it's place in the sidewalk.

Curious, I picked the box up and examined it more carefully. It looked sturdy and homemade definitely created by a craftsman with a sharp pocketknife, an eye for detail, and plenty of spare time. The clasp unhooked with a click and the lid popped open. Inside I found several pieces of scrap paper with drawings of Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and other Disney characters. There was also a brochure from a budding 1950's radio program, a travelogue called “Inside Here” which offered glimpses of quiet, out-of-the-way vacation spots in such exotic places as Southern California and somewhere around the middle of Florida. I wonder what ever became of that radio program?

One thing that caught my attention was some scribblings on a paper napkin. It seemed to be several sketches drawn within a large inverted triangle. Several comments were written on it such as, “Train”, “Main Street”, “Future Space Wars Attraction,” “Put the Jungle Over Here,” and "Home for Lincoln?" which I found to be very odd indeed, after all in 1954 this whole area was just an orange grove. At the bottom of the box I found a piece of paper which had written on it, in large bold letters, “THE SIGNS -- THE ANSWER IS IN THE SIGNS!” and it was signed by Walt Disney himself!

At the time I didn't know what to make of this little box so I took it home and put it on the shelf with my collection of Muppet shows on 8-track tapes. One day it dawned on me: when planning the park, Walt Disney wanted to send a special sign to his true believers. Obviously the answer to this mystery is to be found among all of the signs that Walt Disney had placed around the park. The InsidEar set his best and brightest on this task. You can learn more about this phenomenon at TheDisneyCode.com.

Q. Your story is unbelievable! How did you manage to take the box home with you?

A. I happened to be dressed in custodian whites, a favorite disguise of mine since I am free to roam around the entire park at will. An added bonus is that Nobody bothers you if you have a scowl on your face and are carrying a toilet plunger. It works every time!

*Notes

Pathetic footnote #1 -- The InsidEar actually has a collection of the Muppets on 8 track tape.

Pathetic Footnote #2 -- The InsidEar can still PLAY his 8 track tape collection!

Discount Mondays

How would you like to enjoy a day at Disneyland and save 25%? As you know Disneyland is packed full every weekend, and by Sunday night cast members are tired and just want to go home, so some of the nightly cleanup duties just simply get put off until Monday. Also the restaurants often have trays of unsold food that is just too expensive to simply throw away. As a result Team Disney Anaheim has declared that Monday will be discount day. If you can give them this day to get caught up with some of little tasks around the park you can save a bundle on your visit. You may be surprised, but warmed up discounted food is almost as tasty as the real thing. Sure some rides may be closed so they can check the wheels on the Matterhorn Bobsleds and wax the floors in Mr. Toad's Wild Ride but they will probably open later in the day.

Last Monday I had a wonderful time on "it's a small world" without the music and riding the Haunted Mansion with the lights on while workers made adjustments to the sets. The Pirates looked sharp as designers changed out their soiled week-old clothes for a freshly dry cleaned set. It was obvious that many of the cast members were just getting used to their jobs -- often they would have to check their written scripts. Hey, they have to start somewhere. One cast member even let me work the fire hose while washing down Main Street early Monday afternoon.

You would not believe the deals you could find in the souvenir shops on discount Monday. Mickey Mouse hats selling for only two dollars! Sure some only had one ear and they already had some kid's name misspelled on them but what a bargain. Also on Mondays the shops offer all of the factory seconds that they do not offer to the general public on full price days. Hey, so what the Mickey's tee shirt has the emblem printed under the armpit -- for three dollars you have a one of a kind souvenir! EBay, here I come!

The churros were a little soggy and the popcorn was tough and chewy, but it was cheap. I managed to spend a whole day at the park and only spent $196.75. If you can live without a parade and with a fireworks show run by temps and interns (wear a helmet!), then Monday may just be the day for you.

Autopia Updates

Crash, Bang! We've all been there. How many time have you had your Autopia experience ruined because of some idiot kid in front of you who keeps ramming into your front bumper? This attraction has been plagued with head and neck injury lawsuits since opening day. This problem, in addition to the A.Q.M.D.'s environmental concerns of Disney running the equivalent of 500 lawnmowers all at once, is prompting some much-needed improvements in the attraction. This fall, they will be adding moving sidewalks to the loading area. Track improvements will be made with the addition of the People Mover vehicle system so all of the cars will move at the same speed of nearly two mph and the “Putt Putt” sound effects will be broadcast throughout the ride making it nearly identical to the original experience but a whole lot safer!

Silver Ride Vehicles

One of the special touches found in the new Space Mountain ride is that one of the rockets is totally chrome plated. The effect is simply awesome as this vehicle swoops past the special lighting effects. Keep your eyes open and you will see other chrome plated items around the park. Hint -- look for rides and attractions that have been around for 25 years and are celebrating their silver anniversary!

The InsidEar has notice several chrome plated video games in the Starcade. Elsewhere in the park you will see several chrome plated figures singing in Splash Mountain as a tribute to America Sings. If you look closely you will also find Melvin, Buff and Max all decked out in chrome at The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.

Also scheduled is a complete chromed Big Thunder Mountain Railroad Train, however there were a few safety issues since the reflections from the chrome were triggering the electric eyes along the route, nothing a little duct tape can't fix.

It is rumored that, for the Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Spin's first anniversary, a new all-paper ride vehicle will be unveiled (pending the resolution of certain safety and fire-inspection issues).

Fort Wilderness Theater

Finally some good news for Tom Sawyer Island. Team Disney Anaheim has decided to rebuild Fort Wilderness as the Fort Wilderness Theater. It will feature the original cast and show from the Country Bear Jamboree. Visitors are expected to have a foot stomping good time and the show will bring some much needed life back to the island. This is just another shining example of the “Disney Vault” management style. (See InsidEar July Report).

Club 16-1/2

Now for the first time in Disneyland history there is a private club in the park just for college age guests! It is located at a secret location in the Rancho Fiesta area and admittance to the club is by invitation only*. TDA administration felt that recruiting efforts would be enhanced if college-age guests had a chance to mingle with off duty cast members. The club is highly themed -- it appears as cross between a student center and an employee break room. Members may enjoy free popcorn and sodas while checking their e-mail on one of the many available computers and are also free to charge up their cell phones, iPods, and other electronic gadgets. Of course they will also find plenty job postings and applications available and will be are encouraged to chat with the cast members about employment at the mouse house (because cast members get a bonus for each new recruit, it is expected that a certain number of guests will find themselves shanghaied into signing a long-term contract after being slipped a Mickey -- pun intended!).

The InsidEar feels this is quite a bargain for a low membership fee of $19.55. Hey, it's air conditioned and they show old Disney movies all day. What could be better?

The InsidEar has just a few dozen invitation cards left if you would like to join this exclusive club just tap me on the shoulder and ask me for an invite!

*Members of the DisneyLies.com discussion board will receive their invitation cards in the mail.

Chip & Dale Mishap

Did anyone else notice the Chip and Dale disaster last Monday? This was one of the worst mishaps that I have witnessed over the years. It appears that some new cast members were on duty as Chip and Dale that morning and at their coffee break they set their heads on a nearby table. Well in the rush to get back on stage they obviously grabbed each others head instead of their own! It was simply tragic to see the red nosed “Dale” take the lead in the little dance routine on Main Street and “Chip” would be signing autographs as “Dale” and vice versa. No wonder kid's today are so messed up!

InsidEar Mailbag

Dear Ralph,

This problem must be solved in a mature sensible manner, I am glad you choose to write to me instead of doing something stupid on your own. First you need to have a heat-to-heart talk with your Nana. Tell her that Disneyland is going through a complete rehab for the 50^th and "it's a small world" will be closed for a while. Then while on your way to Disneyland simply drop her off at the local mall. Set her up with a big bucket of popcorn and an ice cream cone. Be sure to leave her some reading material, brochures from the local nursing homes make a nice threat.... err.... umm... treat to read. You will save $56 and she won't dare complain! Problem solved.

~The InsidEar

Dear Shawna,

Yeah that's right, Disney can do no wrong, sister. Remember this is the company that brought us Drew Carry as Gepetto a few years back, and who can forget the whole Superstar Limo thing? You might as well throw in the rest of DCA, too. Do you let your children watch Desperate Housewives on the Disney Family Channel? You can't blame the InsidEar for Disney's blunders. We tell the truth around here. Sorta.

Dear Albert,

Looks like you have been spending way too much time on the Internet. Obviously you stumbled into a Disney Satire site.

If you don't want to be fooled like that again, you could do no worse than reading it right here at the InsidEar.

The InsidEar

Dear Cindy,

Ten minutes before each Fantasmic performance a cast member wearing a S.C.U.B.A. outfit enters the Rivers of America at the other end of Tom Sawyer Island and blows a special underwater whistle (that only fish can hear) and the fish all swim over the see what is going on. You will never see a dead fish at Disneyland because the baby alligators make quick work of them.

The InsidEar

Well folks that about wraps it up for this months news. Please use our contact form and keep us updated about anything we missed. The InsidEar loves to hear from you but due to the large volume of e-mail regrets that he cannot answer each one personally. Interesting letters will be posted to the InsidEar Mailbag.

See you at Knott's Berry Farm!

The InsidEar