September 30, 2005
A Tribute to "Our Hero" Michael
(Sung to the tune of Gilligan's Island on an endless looop)
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of another time
When clouds hung over Disney's Dream,
In a place called Anaheim.
Roy Disney, mighty sailin' man,
And Ron Miller had set the sail,
They just started finding their way,
Everything began to fail.
Everything began to fail.
[sound of thunder: crack!]
The market started getting rough,
The balance sheets did wane
Cast members started grumbling,
And began to complain.
And began to complain.
The year was 1984,
The firm was set to split
Thank goodness they had a white knight,
And greenmailed a bit.
And greenmailed a bit.
Roy Disney said "Enough of this,
Diane cannot be queen.
I'll stomp my feet and hold my breath
And fix up this regime.
And fix up this regime."
Roy said, "With my SaveDisney
site
All the fan's help I will get."
It's too bad that the Internet
Was not invented yet.
Was not invented yet.
A bright idea then came to Roy,
Throw his cousin's husband out
And bring in this great Eisner guy
To work the whole thing out.
To work the whole thing out.
All hail the king of Disney Corp.,
Who'd never worked with Walt.
His vision spread across the land,
Milk the assets to a fault.
Milk the assets to a fault.
He said, "You kids can work with me,
For a couple bucks an hour.
And I'll rake in the bonus checks,
As long as I'm in power.
As long as I'm in power.
With clones, cheapquels, and "grown
up" films,
We'll become a global power,
Even if we sell our future short,
This is my finest hour.
This is my finest hour.
A new studio was built for Roy,
Everything was master planned,
Now he'd show them how it's done
In Eisner's magic land.
In Eisner's magic land.
Animator's started inking cells,
Everyone was hard at work.
Lions and Mermaids made a name,
For "that Katzenberg jerk."
For "that Katzenberg jerk."
Then Eisner started getting rough,
The glow began to wane,
As ego spun out of control,
Folks began to complain.
Folks began to complain.
The bonus checks were dwindling,
Cut backs had to be found.
No recent hand-drawn cartoon hits?
Let's close the whole thing down.
Let's close the whole thing down.
Eisner said, "We need more cash
Let's take it from our 'Guests'.
They'll like cheap rides and peeling paint,
And we'll charge more for less.
And we'll charge more for less."
Billions were spent on ABC,
and the ratings went away,
The Fox Family deal was worse,
And then there's DCA.
And then there's DCA.
Roy Disney said "Enough of this,
Eisner cannot be queen.
I'll stomp my feet and hold my breath
And fix up this regime.
And fix up this regime."
The jester soon was thrown from power,
A new king now will rule.
And only time will tell us if,
He too is a fool.
He too is a fool.
This tale my friend, is too sad to tell,
Bury it in a vault,
And get Disney back on its feet --
It's time to thaw out Walt.
It's time to that out Walt.
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