March 2005
InsidEar readers' own unverifiable facts

March 21, 2005

Because of the expense of using real water, all of the water in Disneyland is anamatronic. At night they just hose it off to keep it clean.

March 9, 2005

There is a huge surprise planned for Disneyland's 50th anniversary that Disney doesn't want anyone to know about. I have tried to get prominent Disney fan sites to break the story, but they are involved in the cover up. However, I know that you are committed to making sure the truth is revealed. Here is the Disney story of the century.

Huge Surprise for Disneyland's 50th Anniversary Revealed!

The following information is guaranteed to by 100% accurate.

As some of you may be aware by now, either because you are a Disneyland annual passholder or because you've been targeted by Disney's unrelenting marketing campaigns, Disneyland will be celebrating its 50th anniversary this year beginning on May 5th. If you have been to Disney fan websites, you may even be aware of some of the new offerings that will premiere this year: the opening of a Buzz Lightyear ride, a new parade, a new fireworks show, gold ride vehicles, a Disney Cruise Line on the West coast, and the "re-launch" of Space Mountain. However there is one surprise for Disneyland's Golden Anniversary that has been kept completely out of the public's knowledge. Until now.

Ask yourself, "What would be the ultimate attraction for Disneyland that would also reflect the park's history?" Walt Disney himself, of course. Walt will be making appearances at Disneyland and the neighboring Disney's California Adventure park from May 5th until July 17th.

Some of you may be aware Mr. Disney was cryogenically frozen back in 1966 to be kept preserved until a cure for lung cancer could be found. Many believe this is merely urban legend, but as someone who worked in Disney's Evil Master Planning department for over fifty years before being laid off by a spiteful Michael Eisner, I can tell you that this is exactly what happened. While I mainly did work in the subliminal messaging field, all of us in the department knew what was going on, and I still have connections on the inside.

Obviously the cure for lung cancer has not yet been found, but technology has advanced far enough that Walt can be reanimated for four to five month intervals. Some of you may be aware that Disneyland will be closed on May 4th, to "put the finishing touches" on the park before the celebration. On this day, the media will be invited to the park for Walt's big unveiling when the reanimation process will be complete.

Walt will stay at the Disneyland Resort until the park's actual anniversary on July 17th, making appearances at various locations. After that, he will make appearances at other Disney theme parks. From July 19th to August 9th, Mr. Disney will appear in various locations around the Walt Disney Word Resort in Central Florida. From August 11th until the 21st, Mr. Disney will appear around Disneyland Paris and Walt Disney Studios Paris, where it is expected that no one will come to see him. From the 23rd until the 31st, he will be at the Tokyo Disney Resort. Finally, Walt will be present at the grand opening of Hong Kong Disneyland in September.

After this final appearance, Mr. Disney will return to his cryogenically frozen state, though company insiders are already considering having him make an encore appearance at Disneyland in the summer of 2006 if attendance figures are lower than expected. There has also been talk of permanently putting Mr. Disney's cryogenically frozen body on display at Disney's California Adventure (since it will no longer be a carefully guarded secret) in the hopes of bringing more visitors to the struggling theme park.

Remember: You heard it hear first.

-Anonymous

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