Pixar Buys Disney
In an amazing turn of events, Pixar animation company has purchased 51% of Disney's stock, effectively giving them complete control of the entertainment giant. Wall Street immediately went insane.
"This is a disaster," said one analyst. "If Pixar applies its philosophy to Disney, we may see shareholder value take a back seat to such nebulous concepts as 'story' and 'guest experience' -- things you can't even begin to attach a dollar value to. Have you seen the enormous paint bills at Disneyland since that new guy took over? I tell you, it's just a drop in the bucket."
Disney feature animation employees were informed that they would now experience a minimum of interference from management in exchange for more responsibility for their work product. The few remaining long-time employees were so overjoyed that one of them actually had a mild stroke. Newer hires were apparently overwhelmed by the news and unsure how they would proceed with so much creative freedom.
Simultaneously with this announcement, Apple Computers announced that a huge variety of ABC and ESPN shows would soon be available for purchase through iTunes, as would "a vast collection of classic Disney television." Fans look forward to watching Zorro on their black iPods.
Rumors of a wrecking crew gathering outside of Disney's California Adventure are completely unsubstantiated.
14 Comments:
Hey, think about it. This could lead to some GREAT new rides. How about something based on "Finding Nemo" or "Toy Story" or even "Monsters Inc.". What.... Oh, never mind
I noticed several new characters around DCA this afternoon. There were about a dozen pastel colored ipods walking around and greeting the kids. I don't know if this has anything to do with the Pixar/Disney thing but it is refreshing to see some new characters.
Have you noticed that on "Snow Whites Scary Adventures" the witch is now holding a poison peach?
Poison Peach? But the princess is in *another* castle!!!
InsidEar, I once again am amazed at how you can seemingly goof it up and still come out on top. Wall Street thinks that Disney bought Pixar, but if you look closely at the facts you can see that it is really the other way around. Things are MUCH better now for Disney and Steve Jobs has a pocket full of cash since he bought Disney using their OWN money!
I for one welcome our new Pixar overlords.
Hmmm... If "CARS" crashes at the box office Jobs can blame it on Disney's meddling AND he still comes out on top! Gotta love the way he works.
This has been just what Disney has needed. Now with Jobs in charge the lines are moving 4x faster and the rides aren't breaking down anymore!
In Soviet Russia Disney rides you!
Steve's Jobs business plan:
1. Take a job with the Walt Disney Corp.
2. ??
3. Profit!!!
Now that Steve Jobs in in charge he might be able to do something about the outrages admission fees to the parks since he has a reputation for bringing low cost electronics to the masses. Wait a minute... we're screwed!
Now Disney can take advantage of Pixars newest character - Oswald the Lucky Rabbit!
So many of you are idiots, do any of you actually even hold stock? Disney got pixar and jobs got part of disney. And many of you beat steve jobs to a pulp, but what has he actually done bad? The whole disney lies site is retarded anyways. Whoever it is cannot get anything at all right. Oh, and lets think, since when has a Pixar/Disney movie tanked? If you look at how much each pixar movie brought in, they obtained more and more for each release basicly. I just...my gosh...I cannot believe that people read this load of junk!
-Nick
I have found this web site to be a vast source of information on the very things that you cannot find out about anywhere else. Disneyland.com will tell you the "official" news and there are a lot of Disney fan sites that will keep you updated on the peeling paint problems but InsidEar.com offers a unique perspective from an insiders point of view.
Nick, perhaps you don't understand the nature of this site. Great truths are wrapped in a cloud of satire to protect the InsidEar's secret identity (and presumably his employment). If these articles were just based on gossip and rumors then there would be little point in remaining anonymous. If you read carefully between the lines, many intersecting facts have been presented that were not obvious at that time and were not discussed on other sites until months later. Such as the fact that AK's MT. Everest is actually 12 feet too tall! Have you not noticed that many great things have been happening at DL since this web site was started? Don't forget, it was on InsidEar's watch when Eisner stepped down! InsidEar.com is a great web site that I like to visit when I want to get away by myself.
~Dean Iris
Dean' right. It's like in the Wizard of Oz - you have what appears to be this all powerful wizard but when you look behind the curtian all you get is a bumbiling idiot. Here at InsidEar.com you get what appears to be a bumbiling idiot so you know that behind the scenes there must be a wizard!
Esther Day
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