Pilgrim's Progress -- The Movie

Things have come full circle from the dark days in the 1980's when members of the Southern Baptist churches were banned from Disney theme parks due to their outrageously conservative values. In a bold and unprecedented move Walt Disney Pictures will be releasing the unrelentingly allegorical Pilgrim's Progress -- The Movie next fall with Keanu Reeves in the title role.

While many atheist groups have already voiced their concerns that this film may contain morally objectionable elements that would certainly corrupt their children Walt Disney Productions asserts that the film will appeal to a wide range of audiences. To play up this feature, the will be promoted to Christian groups as a religious film and to other groups as a "delightful walk in the woods" filled with suspense and personal challenges. Even so, Disney has decided to avoid accusations of proselytizing by changing the names of two main characters from Christian and Christina to Chuck and Moisha.

If this film is successful, Disneyland fans can expect a major rehab to the Indiana Jones attraction in the near future and a whole swarm of sequels.