Disneyland staffing problems

Those of you who will be visiting Disneyland during the busy holiday season should be aware that the park is still very much in the throes of a staffing crisis. The new "zero tolerance for being even a minute late" policy (referred to by the Human Resources department as "ontimorfiredism") is leading to copious dismissals, and the "minimum wage or bust!" campaign has backfired, causing people to shun Disneyland employment in droves.

In order to make the most of a staff that is stretched thin, Disneyland will, as of December 1, be completely self service on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This means guests will run the attractions, march in the parades, and leave money in an "honor system" basket when taking purchases. Guests who do not like the system can go to City Hall and complain to themselves.

We'll let you know how it works out.